Parenting can be tough, and being calm often feels a million miles away, but these 7 tips can help you restore calm into your parenting journey.
1. Count to Five
One of the best bits of advice I give is a really simple one – count to five. Sometimes it is really tempting to react badly and shout immediately when something has happened, but by taking a few seconds to get your thoughts and feelings together, it can stop a situation escalating and help you react in a calmer way.
This isn’t always possible if something is time sensitive, such as warning your child of a danger for example, but it can be used in most situations.
2. Notice How You Feel
Being aware of your feelings can really help you process them, and in turn it can help you to react in a better way to things when you are feeling stressed. Being mindful of your emotions can help you to rationalise your thoughts. For example, somebody might be tapping their foot and you find it annoying. By being aware of how it is making you feel, you may be able to rationalise the situation and not outwardly react to it.
3. Self-care
Self care is such an important thing for parents to do, and yet it often gets forgotten about or has no time made for it. As a parent we can find ourselves forever putting other people first and finding it near impossible to create that little bit of time for ourselves. It is critical to our well-being though. If you run yourself into the ground, it becomes harder and harder to give your children what they need.
By looking after yourself and allowing yourself that bit of ‘me time’, you will feel much better, and more able to be the parent you want to be. As much as we’d all love to be superwoman/superman, it’s not possible, and to be the best parent you can be you need to cut yourself some slack.
Practising self-care could be as simple as allowing yourself 10 minutes to read a book. Reading has a lot of health benefits. You can read all about those benefits here.
4. Practice Gratitude with your Children
Practising gratitude is something that you can do with your children from a young age. If they learn to do it as they grow up, they will be more grateful for things they have or experience.
A simple practice could be telling each other what you are grateful for every day when putting your children to bed. It could be something like “I am grateful for my family”, or it could be something simple that has happened that day like “I am grateful I got to play football today”.
By teaching this to your children, you are creating a calmer, more thankful environment. This is not only good for your children, but it also benefits you too.
5. Take Deep Breaths
Taking slow deep breaths can make you feel calmer. When we take deep breaths, our brain receives signals that trigger the release of a chemical called Dopamine. Dopamine is a calming chemical and helps your body to relax.
6. Evaluate your Expectations
Sometimes as parents we can find ourselves expecting our children to do things that are beyond their years. If your children are finding something difficult, or are dragging their heels about doing something, reflect on if they are ready to be doing that thing and if your expectations are realistic.
7. Positive Discipline
Positive discipline can completely change the environment in a home. Instead of saying “No, don’t do that”, try instead redirecting the child to either doing something else completely, or say how good it would be if they did what they were doing in a different way. If they then go on to do that thing, give them lots of praise. By doing this, you are rewarding them for good behaviour and they will learn that they get good attention when they do good things.
Summary
It can be difficult to be a calm parent sometimes, and our children sure know how to press our buttons! However, it is possible to be a calm parent. We all get those moments where we feel ourselves getting annoyed or frustrated, but by using these techniques you should find that you are able to de-escalate those feelings.
Author Bio
I am a qualified mindfulness teacher and run several online courses to help people reduce their anxiety and stress levels. You can access one of my online mindfulness courses for free here.