Traumatic birth is a difficult and emotional experience for many women and their partners. The physical and emotional pain can be overwhelming, and it can be difficult to cope with the aftermath.
This blog post discusses dealing with a traumatic birth, but also refers to new-born babies. If your baby passed away following a traumatic birth, you may prefer to read ‘How Mindfulness Can Help You Cope With Grief’.
Talk About Your Experience
First and foremost, it is important to talk about your experience. Whether it’s with a therapist, a support group, or loved ones, sharing your story can help you process what happened and begin to come to terms with it. There is such a huge expectation in your mind when it comes to childbirth. It is something that most women dream about from a young age, picturing a perfect vaginal delivery. To have those expectations shattered can take a lot of processing. Talking is a big part of the healing process, however difficult to talk about. The more open you are about it, the easier it becomes to let go those negative feelings you may be having.
Everyone’s Experience is Different
It’s also important to remember that everyone’s experience is different and that there is no right or wrong way to feel. Recovering from a traumatic birth is a deeply personal and unique journey for each individual involved. No two people will experience the same set of emotions, challenges, or coping mechanisms when navigating the aftermath.
The definition of a traumatic birth can vary widely from one person to another. What might be traumatic for one individual may not be perceived as such by another. Factors such as medical complications, unexpected outcomes, feelings of powerlessness, and the level of physical pain experienced can all contribute to a birth being traumatic. Each person’s unique perception of their birth experience is valid, and should be respected.
Emotions
The emotional response to a traumatic birth can differ significantly. Some people may experience overwhelming fear, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress symptoms immediately after the birth, while others might not fully process their emotions until weeks, months, or even years later. Some individuals may need professional therapy to cope, while others may find solace in peer support groups or self-help techniques. It’s essential to emphasize that there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to healing from a traumatic birth, and everyone’s journey to recovery is different.
Other Peoples Expectations
If your baby comes out healthy, but you didn’t get the birth you expected, people don’t always understand why you are so upset about a birth plan not going smoothly. They might have the attitude that ‘your baby is fine, why are you making such a fuss’. Firstly, this says more about them and their lack of understanding than it does about you. Secondly, it is completely valid to grieve the birth that you wanted/planned.
Rest
“Rest, what is that?!” you may think! When you have a new-born, rest can feel like a thing of the past! Try to rest when your baby is resting though. The housework will wait. It’s important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally to give you the quickest recovery possible.
Healing Takes Time
Finally, remember that healing takes time and that it is a process. Be patient with yourself and don’t be afraid to reach out for help. You are not alone, and there is support available. With the right support, you can begin to heal and move forward.